


We Must Live the Life we Choose

by anna_sun



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Porn, Coming In Pants, Crack, Hand Jobs, Horny Teenagers, M/M, Making Out, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Teenagers, Well I tried to be a bit funny at times, i mean theres some plot but nothing major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-02 17:56:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_sun/pseuds/anna_sun
Summary: "Really, now?" Lukas says the words as he drops his cigarette butt on the ground. He steps closer, right in front of Philip, when he adds, "You want tough? I'll show you tough."





	

**Author's Note:**

> I can't exactly remember which episode but this is set a little while after Lukas hit Philip in the hallway. In the show Philip goes to his house to tell him about the murderer or something. Here, well. You'll figure it out.

"I'd never been hit before,'' Philip confesses on the sacred ground of Lukas' back porch, the church replaced by the wide open field, the organ by the chipping music of the wild birds, the incense by Lukas' cigarette smoke. It's admittedly not much of a confession, Philip realizes, but at least it's _something_. 

"I'd never hit someone before," Lukas admits. 

Something Philip now shares with the reckless boy who doesn't seem to be bothered by the blood still tainting his knuckles. Philip can't stop staring at it, the spots of dark, quasi-brown red against Lukas' pale skin, a cigarette trapped between two long fingers. 

"Really?" Philip says in between a laugh, tearing his gaze away from the other boy's hand - Lukas shoots him a glance. "'Thought you were a tough guy." 

It's Lukas' turn to smile, shaking his head as he takes another drag. Philip simply observes and buries his hands deep into his pockets, biting his bottom lip, an awful nervous habit, before he looks away.  

"What? Did I just shatter the idea you had of me?" Lukas laughs. "You're into bad boys, Philip Shea? Huh? Is that it?"

Philip grabs Lukas' shoulder and pushes him away, a short burst of laughter escaping his lips. The movement makes his eye sting, a painful reminder of what happened earlier today. He shouldn't ignore it, he really shouldn't, but for now, he laughs.

"Yeah, now that I know you aren't tough after all, I think- yeah, nope. Not into you anymore."    

"Really, now?" Lukas says the words as he drops his cigarette butt on the ground. He steps closer, right in front of Philip, when he adds, "You want tough? I'll show you tough." 

And suddenly Philip's pushed against the wall of the house, and there's teeth biting at his jaw, fingers digging into the meat below his ribs, a thigh pressing between his legs. Lukas wastes no time - he goes straight to nibbling at his earlobe, before he licks the skin right beneath it. The warm touches send shivers running through Philip's whole body, and he can't help but grab at the other boy's back, helplessly, before he raises a hand to go deep into his hair.

Apparently, Lukas likes that.

"Fuck," he breathes warm against his skin, head still cradled in the crook of Philip's neck. "Fuck."

And then he kisses him, admittedly a bit too harsh to Philip's liking, but it's still Lukas' lips, his tongue, his teeth. Philip realizes he'll never _not_ like that. They dance their dance for a while after that, going from lips to neck to hands, grabbing at each other like they'll drown if they don't, and Philip thinks, _fuck_ , _he's my lifeline, keeps my head from going under water, he really is._

The realization makes him bang his head against the wall behind him, frustrated, and Lukas takes the now exposed part of his neck as an invitation to suck bruises on the surface of the skin.

"Just say you met some girl in the city," Lukas proposes as he kisses over the red spot he created on Philip's neck. "Or someone from school. Who gives a shit."  

Philip closes his eyes and sighs before gently pushing Lukas away. The aching between his legs doesn't agree with such a decision, but Philip sighs again, a deep breath. Mind over body. 

Lukas' eyebrows furrow deep and suddenly he looks  _hurt_ , eyes frantically searching Philip's face, that Philip has to look away when he says, "I can't."

Lukas persists on being confused. 

"What?"

"I can't- I won't," He tries again. "I won't be your little secret."

The silence falls heavy between them then, and Lukas licks his lips, a stray of fake blond hair suddenly falling right on the bridge of his nose. Philip has to close both his fists tightly to resist the urge to push it away.

"Okay," Lukas says, sneaking a glance behind himself before stepping a bit closer. Philip can smell the biter sent of his still smokey breath. "Okay. You won't be." 

The words bring up hope in Philip's eyes, like a single dot of light in a blinding darkness. He opens his mouth, agape, before he can finally form words. 

"Hitting me, earlier, I know we joked about it, but that wasn't-" 

"I know," Lukas cuts him off, passing a hand in his hair and avoiding Philip's gaze when he says, "I'm sorry. I panicked." 

Philip thinks _that's not enough of a good reason,_  because now there's a bruise on the side of his face and there's nobody else to blame, but. There's also a beautiful, beautiful boy standing right in front of him whose lips where on his only a couple of minutes ago. 

Philip brings his arms up and rests them on Lukas' shoulders, fingertips teasing hair tips, and that's the only invitation the other boy needs. Their lips connect once again, this time less harsh, less hurried, and Philip finds himself humming into it. Lukas' smile breaks up the kiss, and Philip ends up trying to kiss his teeth before he gives up and drops his head to find where Lukas' neck meets his shoulder. 

"I really, _really_ wanna take this inside," Philip whispers against the skin there before he lets his hands travel down Lukas' back, lightly grabbing at his ass. It's something he'd never had the audacity to do before, and Lukas laughs, maybe half surprised, half uncomfortable.

Still, at least he takes Philip's head with both hands and looks into his eyes when he adds, "Me too."

They race inside and up the stairs like kids on their way to the lake on the first day of summer, shedding clothes along the way, though not dropping them to the floor because life isn't that fair and Lukas' dad is bound to come home sometime. Still, Philip can sense the rush in his veins, the beat of his heart, when he finds himself in Lukas' room without a shirt and with his pants only halfway zipped. 

He must be quite a sight, standing there with his shirt hanging from one hand, because a weird sound comes out of Lukas before he pushes him on the bed. The t-shirt is dropped on the floor along with every ounce of self control Philip might still have had. 

"Lock your door, lock your door," He breathes out, crawling backwards up the bed so he can rest his head on a pillow. He's got both legs wide open and a devilish smirk on his face when the door is locked and Lukas turns back around.  

"You're gonna be the death of me," Lukas says as he joins him on the bed - finally - finding place in the space Philip made for him. With their jeans still on and Philip's inability to spread out like a gymnast, they can't quite get the friction they crave yet, but Philip is a patient man. He just soaks in Lukas' face and gaze, in the hopes of never forgetting this moment, even when he'll be old and grey and unable to remember his own fucking name. 

He'll remember this. 

They kiss again, never enough, this time with their wet tongues more urgent and the overwhelming feeling of skin-on-skin contact. Lukas' chest presses just right against his, a perfect weight on top of him, and Philip thinks, _God, you'll be the death of me too_. 

Lukas' hands figure out every inch of Philip's half-naked body, every crease, thumbs sometimes even grazing his nipples. Philip has to look up at the ceiling and grab the pillow underneath him with both hands, breathing in, breathing out, because no one has ever paid this much attention to him. No one has ever made him feel like this.  

Suddenly, Lukas' hands rest firmly on his hips, fingers slightly caressing the exposed skin. Philip looks up to see Lukas staring intensely at the bulge in his pants. 

"It's just- I've never-" Lukas is barely able to get the words out, and Philip smiles, hopefully warm, before playfully wiggling his hips up and down. 

"I'm sure you know how it works," he jokes, and Lukas heavily drops his head in a burst of laughter. He's half-sitting up, now, and even that is a bit too far away to Philip's liking. 

"Only if you want to," he adds, and Lukas looks up, eyebrows raised practically all the way up to his hairline. 

He then looks down at his own crotch, a subjective look in Philip's way.

"Yeah - I want to," he says, yet doesn't move a finger afterwards and just stares, still. 

Philip decides that it's time to ease into things in his own way.

He rests one hand on his stomach and the movement has Lukas rising his head to meet Philip's gaze. 

"Here," he says, own hand starting to tease at the edge of his boxers. He uses his other to unzip is pants all the way through and then palms himself lightly, over the fabric of his underwear, where his hard length is visible. To finally get some friction feels so good that Philip has to close his eyes and huff out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. His hips even flinch. 

When he opens his eyes with the intention of reminding Lukas he doesn't need to do anything, he meets a look of pure lust. The other boy looks completely mesmerized, mouth slightly open and the hands on Philip's hips trying to get a better grip. 

Philip can't help the blush that creeps up his neck, or the wave of heat only Lukas' gaze sends between his legs. Lukas likes this; likes watching him, and the realization has Philip pressing his palm down on himself with more pressure and fucking _moaning_. 

If Lukas likes watching, Philip's going to put on a hell of a show. 

He lets his hand slide under his boxers, a bit more slowly than he would usually, and teases himself at the base. He's well aware that Lukas has a perfect view on his pubic hair, but the little bit of more exposed skin doesn't scare him away. No, Lukas' hands travel their way up Philip's body and he's got both hands on his chest, teasing his nipples, when Philip pulls his underwear down and finally takes his dick out.

The cold air sends shivers running down his spine as he takes hold of himself with one hand, not too tight yet. He tries to ignore his self-conscious side, Lukas' eyes being really intense, and just starts moving. He's done a couple of strokes when Lukas sacrifices one hand away from Philip's chest to palm himself.

"Took you long enough," Philip huffs out, a smile playing on his lips, and Lukas smiles back, beautiful.

"Shut up," is his answer, and then there's not much need for more talking, except for when Philip lets himself request, "Kiss me."

And Lukas does, even stops touching himself and lets his weight fall on his elbows, resting on both sides of Philip's body. His blond hair falls all over his face and tickles Philip's when he goes down and kisses him. 

It has to be their best kiss yet, Philip thinks, because Lukas doesn't seem to be holding himself back one bit, and he doesn't flinch when Philip brings his unoccupied hand up and buries it into his hair. He tries to be gentle, and simply plays carelessly with the locks. It's the first thing he'd wanted to do when he'd seen Lukas for the first time, and now, here they were.

Philip doesn't think he could survive the fall if he woke up to this all just being a dream.  

Yet, Lukas' lips feel very real on his, his eyes, his hair, his warm skin. It all can't just be a dream, even if it might feel like it is. 

Their kiss grows more urgent and Philip's movements does too, as he lets his hand do its own thing, flicks his wrist at the top, passes a thumb over his head. The sound of it all is utterly obscene, and Philip slowly stops reciprocating the kiss, in need of oxygen. 

Lukas looks down and a look of absolute _pain_ washes over his face before he playfully bites at Philip's jaw and goes to whisper in his ear, "Let me". 

That's all the reason Philip needs to stop jerking himself off on his own. He was already getting close, his stomach heaving up and down with every breath, and Lukas passes a hand over said stomach before suddenly he's playing with the little hairs at the base, and replacing Philip's hand by his own. 

Just the sight of it is almost too much, Lukas' long fingers around him, the utter look of concentration he sports on his face when he starts moving. His grip is a bit too light so Philips says as such, and Lukas blushes bright red on the spot. 

"Sorry, yeah- okay," he mutters under his breath as he takes hold of Philip tighter. Philip can't help but swear out loud, and he realizes he's getting awfully close way too soon, as Lukas flicks his wrist and Philip catches sight of the red still on his knuckles, contrasting against the skin, and he can't stop staring, he really can't. 

Lukas, God know how, seems to catch on, because he smirks, gains some type of holy confidence and strokes him faster and faster as he brings his other hand up the side of Philip's face. Philip doesn't think much of it at first, as he's rather preoccupied by other things, but when a finger lingers on the skin where the bruise formed, his eyes open wide. 

He comes right there and then, can't help his eyelids fluttering close, the unholy groan that escapes from deep within his throat or the little spasm of his right leg. Lukas strokes him until he's dry, kissing him all over his cheeks and jaw and neck, before he stops and retrieves his hand.  

The silence that falls between them then feels almost foreign, the only sound in the whole house being Philip's heavy breath. It's as if they don't really know what to do next, and Philip realizes almost too late that Lukas is on the verge of stepping off the bed.

"Wait, wait-" He says, cringing when he looks down at himself, but still taking hold of Lukas' forearm so he doesn't escape right away. "Let me- Don't you-"

Lukas smiles and blushes around the words that come out of his mouth, "I'm- fuck, I'm fine."   

For a second there Philip is confused, but then Lukas takes his limb back and gets off the bed, walking his way to a towel that was left on the floor. He's walking weird, uncomfortable, and the realization hits Philip straight in the face, along with the towel Lukas throws at him. 

He bursts out laughing, really taking it in when Lukas stands there idly and Philip can see the growing wet spot in his boxers. 

"Shut up," Lukas exhales, annoyed, and Philip smiles, all bright, falling silent. 

"Change your pants, give me something." He says as he starts to wipe himself off. "And come here." 

Lukas nods and the blankets are pushed to the side so he can crawl in with Philip. He's wearing sweatpants, they both are, and Philip knows for a fact Lukas is going commando right now. He smiles to himself. 

"Wait, Lukas," he says suddenly, and the other boy stops all motion. 

"Still have some weed?" 

The smile Lukas sends him then makes Philip's heart flutter. 

* * *

Philip suffers from a last shiver when he opens the doors of the school entrance and is welcomed by a wave of heat. Tivoli, during the fall, was sharply cold, every brisk of cold air piercing through all layer of clothes. Philip used to believe he liked the cold more than the heat, but now he found himself craving the bright sun and burning concrete of the city. 

He exhales one last deep breath as he walks his way to the lockers, trying the bury the homesickness deep within himself. 

Though, he seems to be able to forget all of it when, as he finally gets his locker combination right and opens the rusty, creaking door, he spots Lukas entering the school, helmet still in hand. 

The feeling he gets then, he tries to bury, too. There's no need to scare the beautiful boy away. 

"Hey," he simply says, casual, his mouth cracking into a small smile. He rises his chin up a bit, still beaming, knowing for a fact that the evidence of their time together is still marked by purple bruises and that said evidence _could be seen_. 

He doesn't notice Lukas' face of panic, then. No, he's still got his chin up, caught up in his own reverie and stupid, stupid high hopes when Lukas' face suddenly turns into one of pure disgust.  

"What the fuck?" He practically spits out at him, getting a better grip on his backpack. That's when Rose and friends appear in sight, and Philip stops breathing. 

He feels his heart drop, right there on the dusty ground. Right next to his shoe.

Lukas steps on it and buries it six feet deep into the ground when he shakes his head in a fake air of superiority and walks away.  

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are so appreciated!! I hadn't written anything in a while, and these two ACTUALLY got me my inspiration back!! How much I love them! (enough to write this lengthy porn about them when I'm in the middle of my finals week, apparently)
> 
> Find me on tumblr!! I'm at Alteramour :)


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